Closer

My anonymity grows.

It seems Abi Titmuss is running all over town, completely failing to mention me at every opportunity. After not being mentioned in Hello! and The Sun, I’ve now not been mentioned in Closer.

Okay, okay, so the Hello! article was actually Adele Silva not mentioning me. Meaning, technically, Abi’s only given two interviews which doesn’t really count as running all over town; but it’s still moderately exciting to see yourself failing to be mentioned in national publications. I really am on track for no one knowing who I am in the next few months.

In fact, I’d go so far as predicting that by Christmas, my anonymity will have grown to such proportions even Mandy will never have heard of me.

Truly we live in wonderous times.

The Sun

Abi Titmuss was in The Sun today:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article1016941.ece

I would like to draw your attention to the following quote:

“I have just got a little part in a British film, a comedy, but I can’t talk about that yet!”

She may not be able to, but I can … because it’s my film.

Or at least a film I wrote.

That’s right, as well as not being mentioned in Hello! a few weeks back, I’ve now not been mentioned in The Sun. At this rate I’ll be completely anonymous for years to come. My name will literally be on no one’s lips.

Fame is ignoring me, but in public.

Basically, Abi is going to be in Mixed Up. Which also has a natty new poster:

So there you go: not being mentioned in The Sun and a new poster.

I told you life was good.

Croydon

It’s amazing what you can learn from the Internet; for instance, I’ve just learned I used to live in Croydon:

http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/display.var.2145307.0.beanos_set_to_star_on_the_big_screen.php#comments

Hello!

I’m going to interrupt my stream of dodgy strategy talk for a quick aside.

I was idly glancing over someone’s shoulder on the bus today - bad habit, but I get bored - when a photo in his copy of Hello! caught my eye.

“Hey, that’s Adele!” 

Cue strange glances.

Word of advice, when you’re reading magazines over someone’s shoulder - don’t shout in their ear. If you do, try turning your head away, chatting to yourself and pretending you’ve got a bluetooth headset in your other ear.

Eventually, he went back to his reading and I could go back to mine.

The article was about Adele Silva, who starred in … HOLY FUCK! THAT’S MY FILM!

By now, most of the bus were looking at me.

And not in  a good way.

But I didn’t care, I was on my feet, pointing at the magazine in open mouthed surprise.

This was the corner of the article which caught my attention:

That’s right, I wrestled the magazine away from him and ran giggling into the night.

Then had to wait for the next bus because it wasn’t my stop.

Sad, yes; but good publicity.

Getting a mention in a national mag, not jumping off at the wrong stop after tearing said magazine out of someone’s hand.

Or it would be good publicity if people actually read Hello! instead of just looking at the pictures.

I am ashamed of myself.

Sorry.