Unrealistic expectations

I’ve figured out today I have no concept of time. This will come as no great surprise to the various employers I’ve had over the years, punctuality has never been my strong point. Deadlines I’m fine with: have this done by tomorrow? No problem. Turn up at a particular place at a particular time tomorrow? I just can’t do it.

I’ve realised today I have no concept of how long it takes to do something. For example: today’s plan was to get up, have breakfast and knuckle down to work.

Breakfast took an hour and a half. How? I have no idea.

I figured I’d knock out a dozen sketches for The Treason Show and Newsrevue (a dozen in total, not each – I’m not that deluded.); read through the writer’s notes for a film project I’m working on and write up some notes of my own in preparation for a meeting with the writer/director on Saturday; write a TV show proposal for a producer I was chatting to months ago; tinker a bit more with the spec feature I’m writing; and, if there’s time, read a script on Trigger Street.

How much of that do you think I actually got done? I’ll give you a clue, I don’t possess the ability to slow down time.

What I’ve actually achieved today: wrote one sketch.

It’s a good one (in my opinion) but it’s only one. It took me a while to comb through the various on-line newspapers looking for something I might want to satirise. Nothing much sprang to mind, I’ve done most of the major stories already.

I’ve spent several hours reading and re-reading the notes for the feature and writing down possible beginnings and endings. My grasp of this guy’s story and characters is a lot better than it was before and I now have pages of scribbled notes to refer back to. All good.

And that’s about it.

My wife’s coming home now and I don’t really like to work when she’s home; I don’t get to see her very often and it’s nice to spend some time together.

So, have I under-achieved? Did I spend my time watching telly and fiddling with the Internet?

Nope. I was working all day (apart from the extended breakfast – what the hell happened there?). The reason I haven’t achieved everything I wanted is because it probably wasn’t possible in the first place.

It appears I have no concept whatsoever of how long any of these tasks take. I’d like to think I’ll learn from this experience and mend my stupid ways; but I know I won’t. You’ll notice the word probably in the above paragraph. Yes, that’s right, I’m going to try and do it all again tomorrow. Except the bits I’ve already done.

Oh, and I really should cut the grass, but that only takes five minutes; doesn’t it?

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