What have I been up to?

Or should that be: what haven’t I been up to?

Erm, lots actually. Including space travel, meringue theft and open heart surgery on midget pumas.

Damn, my life is no where near as exciting as I want it to be.

I’ve had a bit of me time. I’ve finished a re-write for ‘The Return’ (working title, going to be changed – honest) and I’m waiting on director Dan Hartley to get back in touch regarding a proposed TV project we’ve been discussing, based partly on his Rogue Runner diaries.

Now I come to think of it, it has been a while. Maybe I’ve been replaced? I really should give him a ring.

So I’ve got some spare time to use as I wish.

Or so I thought.

The other day I got an email from Tony Chance, the co-director of ‘Fleeced‘ asking if I had any other feature scripts he could read. I dug out my usual batch of feature synopses and flicked through them.

And then it hit me: half of these scripts aren’t in a presentable condition.

‘Cause and Effect’ and ‘The Missing Piece’ are fine, ready to go.

‘Before I Get Old’ needs two of the main characters swapping around, a fairly large task which will make the script a million times better. 

‘Julian and Declan and The Frying Pan of Doom’ is in pieces after the last time it was optioned and then abandoned halfway through a re-write.

‘Vigilante’ (a script which has two completely different versions, each as good as the other, both developed for the same person in different circumstances) is halfway through a re-write, after I put it to one side to do some paid work and completely forgot I’d written it, and ‘Second Chances’ is so shit it’s not worth salvaging.

That’s what I have to do. I have to put my back catalogue in order. No new stuff until the old stuff makes sense.

So I sat down and went to it. Yesterday I finished polishing up one of the funniest things I’ve written: ‘Julian and Declan and The Frying Pan of Doom’. To my surprise it was in much better condition than I remember. A few tweaks here and there and it finally makes sense.

Or at least, as much as sense as it’s ever going to make.

Today I intended to start with a few Treason Show/NewsRevue sketches (it’s been so long, can I still do it?) and then crack on with ‘Before I Get Old’; but it was not to be. At least not yet.

This morning (or as close to the morning as I like to get) I had an email from Tony asking to see ‘The Missing Piece’. I had a quick flick through it to see if it looked okay and ended up spending an hour or so reading it and changing the odd comma here and there.

As soon as I finished that, I received an email from Paul Ashby of Articulate Pictures asking if I was interested in a commission (including the awkward ‘how much do you charge?’ question. I don’t know, that’s money, that’s the real world.) and is ‘Cause and Effect’ still available?

Commission, yes. Money, erm … yes. ‘Cause and Effect’, yes.

In the middle of typing the reply I received a phone call from Nick Healy at POP Productions. Some corporate stuff which we developed together has got the go ahead and shooting dates for our Internet virals have changed. Do I want to be a Kung Fu grandmother?

Yes I do.

It’s been a busy day so far. Who knows, I might actually manage to get some work done this afternoon.

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