Fighting in drag


Yesterday was fun, in a ‘sitting around all day bored out of my mind’ sort of way.

Actually, before I get into all that; yesterday I had seventeen referrals from this page of the New York Times, and I’ve no idea why. I’ll post a lollipop to anyone who can come up with a satisfactory explanation.

While all that was going on, I spent the day at POP Productions in Walthamstow, watching the filming of some viral promotional pieces, and waiting for my tiny role.

The thirty second piece of film I was needed for was scheduled for 11.30. I was due there for 11.00 and was amazed to discover I’d not only turned up on time, but was actually early.

For anyone who knows me, this is unheard of.

So I’m there, I’m ready. Mandy’s with me because it’s only going to take an hour or so and then we’re going to go and see my brother, Martin.

Ah, slight problem. The set hasn’t been built yet and they’re going to do some of the other scenes first. Do we mind hanging around?

No, no problem. Martin is teaching at the Almeida until 16.30 anyway, so we were just going to be killing time.

Seven hours, and countless cups of tea later, we’re still there.

Don’t get me wrong, the pieces are very funny (I thank you) and the two actors who brought them to life, Alex Woodhall and Greg Donaldson, performed them brilliantly; but watching the same minute-long pieces filmed over and over again from a variety of angles is pretty dull.

This made me laugh though:

Alex and Greg

It’s a David Beckham Memory Enhancing Hat, obviously.

At 18.30, when we got round to my part, I finally realised what I’d let myself in for. When I wrote the script, it seemed quite funny to have two grannies fighting in the background. It never occurred to me it would lead to this:

Granny Phill

Which in turn led to this:

Which eventually led to this:


I’m in quite a lot of pain today. Still, it was funny so it’s worth it, right?

We never did get to see my brother.

Categories: Progress, Sad Bastard | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Fighting in drag

  1. Gordon Robertson

    Phill, who was that gorgeous babe in the hat and dress? Do you have her number? Phwoarrr!!!

    There’s time … and then there’s on-set time. And never the twain shall meet.

  2. Gordon Robertson

    Meant to say: it’s weird we both got walk-on roles around the same time. On balance, I think I got the best deal though. At least as a clown I could walk down the street with my head held high. Although heels beat clown shoes by a country mile.

    Another Melting Pot victory last night, by the way. 1st and 2nd places this time. Damn! I really wanted the top three!

  3. I do have her number, but she’s dead. Sorry.

    Yeah, a clown is probably better than being in drag. I just wish I’d bothered to bring in the crash mat I had in the car. I knew it was going to hurt, why didn’t I do the sensible thing?

    Congrats on the Melting Pot thing – I’m getting bored of saying that now. Is there no one who can offer you a serious challenge?

  4. Gordon Robertson

    Not when 4 out the 10 are mine. There must have been a drought of material this month. The winning sketch was one I’d sent in over 6 months ago. Pulled from the Melting Pot back catalogue, no doubt.

    Keeps my 50% record up though: 8 wins from 16 appeareances.

    Any chance we’ll see you doing more drag comedy? My hormones are on fire!

  5. No chance.

    Every character I write from now on is going to be a bloke sitting quietly having a cup of tea – just in case I get asked to fill in.

  6. Gordon Robertson

    Mine will all be characters waiting to make love to beautiful women. Just in case I get asked to fill in.

  7. I claim my lollipop. In the source code of that NYT page they have a weird thing called and then it appears to capture the URL of the page you last visited. When I clicked on the link from here and did a search for phil, the URL of this page was in there. You don’t have to post it to Austria btw

  8. I’m not sure I really understand that, Martin; probably not helped by the fact “!– Start UPT call –” seems to have been automatically edited out of your post.

    If anyone’s interested, it goes between ‘called’ and ‘and’ in the above post.

    So I take it, someone went from my blog to that NY Times page and somebody else (or several somebody elses?) found the link in the code and came back?

    Or am I completely off track?

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