It’s been a bit of a waste of a day really.
No, that’s not fair; I have achieved some things, just nothing I set out to do.
I’d put aside today for sketch writing for The Treason Show and NewsRevue. As is usual when I’ve got a whole day to do something, I spend the morning fannying around. I got up at a reasonable time, had a leisurely breakfast and settled down to work.
An hour later I’m still idly browsing the net. On Danny Stack’s blog I saw the BBC Writer’s Academy is recruiting again. I’ve applied for it the last two years in a row, I might as well have another go.
And there was the whole morning gone.
I don’t know why application forms take me so long, but I suspect it’s fear of not reading it properly. I have this weird thing where I don’t pay attention to the first few bits of information. It doesn’t matter how the information is transmitted, I just completely miss it. I never listen to the first three words of any sentence. I start reading newspaper articles at the third paragraph and I skip the first four or five pages of a book (usually quotes, dedications and other crap).
Quite frequently I find myself listening to people, desperately hoping they’ll repeat the subject of their twenty minute monologue, because I haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about. At school this foible always led me to miss out the bit on exams that said: only answer three questions.
There’s probably a special name for this lapse in attention, I call it fucking annoying.
Whatever the deep seated psychological reasons for this, I try to pay particular attention to work related stuff – just in case I’m missing something. So that was my whole morning; but it’s done now. Off into the ether and awaiting a rejection for the third year running.
Right, sketch writing.
Oh, hang on, there are a couple of jobs to apply for. One of which, a feature film thing, almost instantly leads to a flurry of emails and a meeting scheduled for Saturday night. Do I know any good pubs in Eastbourne?
Erm, no. I don’t drink, my wife’s generally away from home on the weekends and my local friends follow the formula: married + mortgage + small kids = no money = no time = no pubs. It’s all sorted now, we’ll see how it goes on Saturday night.
Now I can settle down to … no, hang on, it’s lunch time.
Food, drink, a bit of light reading.
Bugger, I fell asleep and it’s now mid afternoon.
Right! Work! Read the news, make fun of it. Easy.
Except, there doesn’t seem to be anything funny going on in the world right now. At least nothing I can be bothered to take the piss out of. I spent the rest of the day going through all the online newspapers before deciding to give up and have a bath.
It’s just one of those days, I can’t really be arsed. Best just to wipe my hands of it and try again tomorrow.