The Treason Show are rejigging their website and they want the writers to come up with a 50 word description of themselves. Reasoning this is a comedy show, I thought it should be something vaguely funny and sat down to scribble out my 50 words.

The problem is, it’s really hard. Not sticking to the limit or thinking of what to say, but limiting myself to one idea. This is a problem I always have when I do something, there’s just too many options.

So I sent them all in.

I’ve no idea if this is the sort of thing they’re looking for, but I thought I’d post them here to see what you thought.

Phillip Barron is the funniest man in the world. At least, that’s what his mum says and she was right about not running with scissors, so it must be true. Occasionally he visits reality and writes for whoever will pay him; a kind of comedy-whore. If you really want to know, the details are here:




Phillip Barron was born ginger and has always regretted it. Luckily he’s plummeting towards a mixture of grey hair and baldness, so it’ll all be over soon. Perhaps this explains why he spends most of his time locked in his room writing about his imaginary friends? You can read all about them here:




People often ask how a so obviously aggressive man as Phillip Barron manages to write such beautifully crafted sketches? He usually replies by hitting them with half a brick in a sock. That’ll teach ‘em. Most of his writing is done whilst serving time for GBH. Read some of it here:, or else.




Phillip Barron writes primarily in crayon. The nurses won’t let him have anything sharp and even crayons are a bit of a risk. When he’s not writing, he sits in the corner and plays with himself – luckily he’s quite prolific or he’d have pulled it off by now. There are some samples of his random gibberish here:




Feature Films, Short Films even a tiny bit of Telly; Phillip Barron doesn’t need to write for this show, you know? He’s a comedy God, a giant in the business. Why he wastes his time writing for The Treason Show is a mystery, he doesn’t even need the money. It’s quite good fun though.




Phillip Barron has a lot of anger to work through and slagging off celebrities for The Treason Show is the best method he’s managed to come up with. This probably says more about his mentality than his talent. He written some other stuff, it’s all here:


I think I might have got carried away with the fifth one. Anyone got any favourites?

Categories: Random Witterings, Sad Bastard | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “Blurb

  1. The fourth one.

  2. It’s a tie between the 1st and 5th one for me…

  3. Thanks guys, no consensus as of yet. What I haven’t told you is this post is really a frighteningly clever psychological test. What do your choices say about you?

  4. Gordon Robertson

    I like the existential 7th one.

  5. Danny K

    The 4th one (crayons) there, we have a leader.
    Can you imagine if the candidates from The Apprentice had to do one?
    – Uggh scrub that last sentence – they do one every week.

  6. Actually, Gordon is right, they don’t want any of them. This is the one they’re going for:

    Phillip Barron has written two feature films, with six more in development; three short films; an internet sitcom/soap; and sketches for three stage shows and a (rubbish) TV show. He’s script edited a feature film and writes bits and bobs for a corporate production company. Despite all this, he does not have a partridge in a pear tree. All the details are on his website:

  7. Nice.

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