Fame beckons

Ooh, check me out, I’m 624% more famous than I was last week.

That’s a lot more famous than the paltry 141% more famous I was a few months back. I must be as famous now as some of the extras on Eastenders, surely?

And if fame is here, surely fortune can’t be far behind?

Well, yes, apparently it is. Fortune is stuck behind a tractor on the A27.

Categories: Random Witterings | 18 Comments

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18 thoughts on “Fame beckons

  1. Danny-K

    Just been and had a look, so yeah that’ll be 625% more famous now. Checked out William Goldman’s profile – and would you Adam and Eve ! He’s only 6% more famous than last time. Looked up Joe Esterhas’s profile – and he’s actually 2% LESS famous than last time. (Like his latest book – instantly forgettable soundbite homilies).

    As far as I can determine, William Goldman has no personal blog on the web. Aha! I thought. Bet that explains Joe Esterhas’s drop in fame – but no! He has got a personal blog. And get this – his current blog has 4408 comments!

    Let me type that again – 4,408 comments.

    Must be a mistake, so on to his previous blog and 3,600 odd comments. And on and on . . . as far down the page of blogs as I could see, each blog had SEVERAL THOUSAND comments!

    The man’s going to close down the Internet with that much traffic! Haven’t all those commenters got a life? Like wot we lot ‘as?

    P.S. Don’t try looking up the comments – his site will drown your computer in it’s attempt to load up thousands and thousands of comments.

    Never seen nuthin’ like it before – thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and . . . . . . . . .

  2. Fuck me, and he’s 2% LESS famous than he was last week?

    That’s scary.

  3. Yeah, but he’s already pretty famous. That’s like saying Mount Rushmore’s 2% less famous than last week. It’s 2% of a lot.

  4. Not that he’s as famous as Mount Rushmore. But on that scale, if say, Goldman’s the Great Wall of China, Richard Curtis is the Palace Pier, and I’m my own flat.

  5. Lizzy

    Very proud of you!

  6. Hmm, so on that scale I’ve gone from being as famous as my toilet to being as famous as my entire house!

    Including the garden!

    Fuck me! I’m going to see if any of my neighbours recognise me.

  7. Well, people you don’t know know who you are, so surely that makes you at least a really good pub on the new scale of screenwriter stardom? Like the Fish Bowl in Brighton. I’m being cheeky now, aren’t I?

  8. Ah, but last night I sat in a pub full of people who don’t believe I exist – where does that leave me on the scale?

    Probably the old cab road in Brighton – the one no one knows is there.

  9. Bigger than yesterday. Almost 624% bigger, in fact.

  10. Is that the one with the sex shop?

  11. No, but I’m thinking of opening one.


  12. That’s awesome. I did indeed not know it was there, though I always wondered what those big doors on Trafalgar Street led to.

  13. Danny-K

    This 3 to 4,000 odd comments per blog on Joe Esterhas’s site has started to get my goat.

    I thought: something’s doesn’t smell right.

    So I persevered and let the computer open the comments on his current blog. You can test how powerful your computer is to mine – mine took 2 to 3 minutes for the little egg timer to disappear at the bottom and start showing the first of thousands of comments – and it’s just as I suspected! How can he have thousands of comments per blog when IMDB says he’s minus-2% less famous than previously, huh?

    – He’s been spammed to kingdom come! computer-generated junk/shite/spam postings from god-knows-where!

    It would appear he only set up his blog at the end of last year and gave up quite quickly as the current blog appears to be from September or October 2006. And no wonder!

    Bet he set up his blog on his lonesome and has been singled out for attack. I thought when you got to be that well known you had personal shoppers etc., people who squeezed your toothpaste on to your toothbrush for you? No?

    See Phil – don’t get too famous – otherwise you’ll have to pay for experts to set your blog up in order to protect you from infestations of the Spammer Zombies or whatever they call themselves.

  14. Oddly enough, ‘Infestation of the Spammer Zombies’ is the script I’m working on at the moment.

    Either that or ‘Spammer Zombie’ will be the name of my next band.

  15. Could I please have your autograph?

  16. Odly enough, I have three signatures and have done since I was in my early teens.

    The first is my financial signature, one I use on bank accounts and such like.

    The second is a public signature, one I use when I either want plausible deniability: “That’s not my signature!” or I don’t trust the person enough to have my real signature. This is the one on my website: http://www.phillipbarron.co.uk.

    The third signature is for an alter ego I set up when I was 14 and have maintained ever since. That’s right, I have a completely seperate ‘secret’ identity. He has credit records, bank accounts, addresses … all sorts.

    Why do I have this alter ego? Because I watched too much telly when I was young and actually believed I was Face from ‘The A-Team’ for a while.

    Why have I kept it up? Don’t know, I guess it just might come in useful one day.

  17. OMG!! I have an alter ego too!!! She doesn’t have credit cards but she has taken several courses in weird things like angel magic and has an A Level in photography. She also has a blog and her own fake company with firm stationary.

  18. Excellent, maybe they can date?

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