Is it me?

Every now and then I apply for a job on which asks for script samples – fair enough – but they also want you to apply using their online form, which has no facility for attachments.

So how the hell are you supposed to send samples?

The producers or directors in question don’t provide an email address and they obviously ticked a box which specified ‘Applications only via this form’, so are they making the mistake?

Are they asking the impossible? Is it another challenge to weed out the unworthy? Are they on some kind of A-Team/Mission: Impossible trip – if you can find me, you can have the job? Or have they misunderstood the application process? Do they not have a look at their advert afterwards?

Or, and I’m prepared to accept this as more likely, is it me who’s as confused as a brain-damaged bee?

Is there some hidden (or blatantly obvious) box I can tick to attach files? Is there a way to get the person’s email address? Is replying to them directly (when they’ve asked you to use the form) the electronic equivalent of using the wrong colour pen?

In short, what the fuck is going on?

For whatever reason, the people who specify they want samples and don’t provide an email address rarely get back in touch. Presumably on the grounds I don’t send them any samples, even though I specifically state on the form I will provide them on request.

Only one of these mysterious people has ever got back to me (as opposed to almost all of the ones who don’t want samples yet or provide an address) and she seemed quite miffed because I hadn’t sent her any scripts. I pointed out the lack of email address and the form’s short-comings and she sent me a snotty email back claiming she had included her email address and insinuating I was obviously of a lower intelligence if I couldn’t find it.

I double checked, and still couldn’t find it.

So I’m begging you, someone please put me out of my misery – am I being remarkably stupid, or is it an oversight on their behalf? Maybe there’s some paid version of where all the serious writers can get the proper contact info/attach scripts?

What’s the answer?

Is it me or them?

Categories: Rants | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “Is it me?

  1. TonyB

    Hi Phil,

    No, it most certainly isn’t you – it’s them!

    I use a lot, both to apply for freelance work and to recruit people. The option to apply only through the form was set up to defeat spam coming to one’s normal business email address – it hides your address when you advertise and enables responses to be forwarded to your in box, but in practice it’s a pile of shit.

    The formatting is useless so if people copy and paste their CV into the blank CV space that you see on the form, when it arrives in the advertiser’s email it will probably be all over the place. Even more annoying is that even if you take the trouble to use the preview option before you send and check it looks ok, it will still be out of kilter when it gets emailed.

    Nowadays, if I’m looking for crew or actors I tend to set up a temporary email address for people to apply to via mandy – far better and it enables people to send attachments.

    That leads me on to your main point – I can confirm that you cannot send attachments via the form. You have the option of sending a covering letter and CV only and these will be in plain text form, so you cannot do any fancy formatting.

    However, this system has one use as a ‘moron’ filter, as it tends to filter out those ‘employers’ who are in fact pointless, clueless wannabes! This will probably include the woman you mentioned in your post.

    If those people placing ads via mandy are so clueless that they ask for attachments, even though the system precludes it, and without supplying an email address in the text of the advert, then it’s best to not bother applying.

    The person who remonstrated with you is obviously so devoid of insight you were probably well out of it! You could point out to her the following:

    When you place an ad using the form system you have to supply an email address so that responses can be forwarded to you (obviously!), but the email address you supply is NOT included in the advert – that’s the whole point of the mandy form, to HIDE your email address in order to avoid spam!

    If you want attachments then you have to specify an email address in the text of the advert, and if you do that you may as well bypass the whole form system and just place a standard advert with contact email (much simpler).

    So rest assured – if you ever see an advert on mandy asking you to forward script samples/showreels or whatever, only using the mandy form, this is IMPOSSIBLE and will usefully demonstrate the utter stupidity of the advertiser. I hope that sets your mind at rest 🙂

  2. It does.

    I feel vindicated.

    Almost enough to hunt back through my emails, find her address and send her a link to the blog in an email entitled ‘twat’; but since it was a couple of years back, that might be taking it a bit too far.

  3. TonyB

    Do it!

    There are too many fuckwits in this business, or trying to break in, and they need to be weeded out.

  4. Gordon Robertson

    TonyB, he speak heap biggum sense!

    My pet hate is the ‘director’ or ‘producer’ trying to big up their project, but using a form of grammatical syntax that only foetuses or roadkill could ever understand. Unless they’re autistical geniuses, or idiot savants, there’s no excuse for not being able to write clearly. I mean, how the feck is that meant to instill confidence in their ability to carry a project through to completion in a professional manner?

    Fuckwits, the lot of ’em.

  5. On the other hand, if they could write, they wouldn’t need us.

  6. Gordon Robertson

    Ah, but there’s a world of difference between communicative writing and creative writing. All I’m asking for is someone who can write a cohesive sentence outlining what they’re after. I’m quite happy taking from there and smearing my creative juices all over it.

    So to speak.

  7. I know what you mean, but we’re starting to veer into the subject of tonight’s rant – so I’ll leave it there.

  8. Pingback: What story? « The Jobbing Scriptwriter

  9. Pingback: Point & Click | INDELIBLE FRECKLES

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