Someone mentioned Adele Silva is in the new series of ‘Hell’s Kitchen’. I have zero interest in this series, but for a moment I got quite excited: someone I know is going to be on the telly!

Then I remembered: I don’t know her, I’ve never met her and she’s been on the telly for ages.

Since 1989 in fact.

The momentary confusion was because she’s in ‘The Summoning’ and she added me as a friend on Facebook.

It turns out I can’t tell the difference between the Internet and reality. I feel quite foolish and more than a little pathetic.

Categories: Sad Bastard, The Summoning | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Stupidity

  1. There’s a difference?

  2. Apparently, but lord knows how you’re supposed to work it out.

    I got this email this morning:

    “Martin Kemp would like to be added to your MySpace friends list.”

    Someone’s taking the piss.

  3. Danny-K

    Piers is right. According to the eggheads at Oxford University, in a report released about a month ago, we’re all computer simulations anyway, (Bet they came up with that after watching The Matrix). Google: “Our Lives, Controlled From Some Guy’s Couch New York Times” or type in this long-winded malarkey to read the article:

    That keyboard you’re typing on. Feels solid doesn’t it? Preformed hard plastic – it will to you, and other simulations, but it’s still not real, it’s a computer simulation. Just think, I say that and people think, there’s that nut again, say it as a university researcher/philosopher and they throw money and plaudits at you and your standing in the academic community goes up. See? We’ve just got to be a computer simulation.

  4. Do you ever get the feeling some people have too much time on their hands? Can’t Oxford University eggheads stop fucking about pretending sci-fi is real and do something useful?

    Like cure cancer or something?

    This kind of stoned thought is the sort of thing which crosses your mind briefly at four in the morning when you’re a teenager – not the sort of thing you get paid for.

    Unless you’re a writer.

    I solved all metaphysical problems a long time ago:

    Q: What is the meaning of life?

    A: It’s exactly the same as the meaning of chairs. It doesn’t have one. It has a function, not a meaning.

    Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

    A: Fuck off.

    Q: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

    A: It’s exactly the same as the sound you make wanking over these questions because you don’t have the social skills to get laid.

    Answer me this, if I’m a computer simulation, what cunt gave me ginger hair?

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