Back with a bang

The airport tannoy crackled into life:

“Mumble, mumble … unattended baggage … mumble … destroyed … mumble … passengers near … mumble … move away from … mumble … to protect your ears from the blast.”


Did she just … What did she just say?

I was in the toilet in Toulouse airport, on my own. There was no one to ask.

Out in the terminal, Mandy and my mum didn’t hear anything, my dad heard less than me and there still wasn’t anyone else to ask.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a small group of people in an airport terminal on your own in the immediate aftermath of an announcement which appeared to proclaim an explosion, but it’s a bit eerie.

There’s one of those moments which can only be summed up by the reader-unfriendly line:

‘Everyone looks at each other in stunned silence.’

We hovered uncertainly for five minutes, but the announcement wasn’t repeated. There were no screams of panic, no orders to evacuate … in fact, no people of any description.


But you can only hover in stunned silence for so long, so we headed for check-in.

There were staff behind the check-in desks, but it’s a struggle to get them to look at you, let alone answer any questions and we walked away none the wiser.

In the face of imminent death and destruction, with only uncommunicative (and frankly bored) airline staff for guidance, we did what any true Brit would do.

We went for a cup of tea.

Twenty minutes later, with no further announcement of any description, there was an explosion.

A proper, terminal shaking, dust falling from the ceiling, explosion.

I was quite upset … I got dust in my tea.

And still there were no announcements. No one seemed bothered, or even the least bit surprised. So Mandy and I boarded the plane and came home.

It was a nice holiday, but I’m back now and ready to write until my eyes bleed.

Today kicked it all back off in style: three good meetings about three separate projects.

First up was a meeting about the Vampires and Nazis thing, which quickly became a Witchcraft and Nazis thing.

Next up was a discussion about collaborating on a potential TV comedy series.

And I finished off the day with pizza and a meeting about co-writing a different Vampire feature.

In no particular order, the meetings involved Lee Otway, lots of dogs, calamari, a life-size dalek, Zara Dawson, a discussion on the history of Green Arrow and a surprising amount of high definition pornography.

To be honest, any amount of pornography is surprising when you’re in a meeting; but this was good quality, high definition on a fifty inch TV with surround sound.

Not your average day.

Or not mine anyway.

There was even time between meetings to fit in a brief discussion about a fourth project which needs some minor tweaking.

All in all, it was a very productive and fun filled day.

The result is I’ve filled every day for the next two weeks with writing assignments, all of which are either re-writes of current projects or treatments for new projects.

I even managed to fit in a run this morning, and I got a free horror mag into the bargain.

I want more days like these.

Categories: Progress | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Back with a bang

  1. js

    is zara dawson a life-sized dalek?

  2. Lizzy

    Oh you can type for AGES as your eyes bleed, it’s when the fingers fall off you’ve got a problem….unless you get one of those programs where you speak and it automatically types your words for you…just don’t get a sore throat. One of these days there will be a program that reads our minds and types it out…but what it’ll do with all the voices in my head is beyond me.

    Glad you didn’t explode but bummer about the tea.

  3. JS: no, the dalek’s name was Melvin

    Lizzy: I’m glad I didn’t explode too, although I’m moderately concerned about the voices in your head.

  4. My sister arrived back at Luton from Roumania yesterday and called in chez moi on her way back to Wales… She keeps a kitchen knife in her cello case for shaving her bow-hairs. She took a flight from Luton to Roumania, an internal flight then a flight back from Bucharest to Luton. It was only discovered on the final flight (they let her keep it)… thank God she wasn’t carrying any, eep… I’m getting scared even as I type this…. liquid in a bottle!!! Argh! Run away!

  5. They let her keep it?

    On what grounds? That there’s no terrorists who can play the cello?

  6. I really can’t think why… but it seems a bit weird to me.

    Mind you… a Muslim friend once assured me that the Qur’an can be seen to prohibit all music… though whether anti-terror bods know the finer points of Shariah law is open for debate!

  7. Hi- back from enforced typing absence- think I ought to clarify something… you know how it is, a relative opens their mouth and your brain starts to shut…

    Turns out I have traduced the Bucharest customs: turns out they were the good guys. Bucharest officials searched, found knife, removed knife and chucked it in a bin for knives. However, and this is a whopping big however, the chaps (and chappesses) at Luton opened the case, searched ‘thoroughly’ and found nothing. This was quite a big kitchen knife they didn’t find. It’s rather a good thing it wasn’t a small bomb! You’d think that with all the security stuff going on that they’d have found it.

    So there you go, the actual ‘was listening this time honest’ truth: Bucharest blokes, good; Luton blokes, bad. Situation: bemusing and slightly concerning!

  8. Pingback: Kick off « The Jobbing Scriptwriter

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