I need a certain amount of money before a certain date or something unpleasant is going to happen.
I’m not talking ‘pliers and toenails’ kind of unpleasant, just something I’d rather not have to do.
I don’t normally worry about money. Generally, money is just something which drops through the letterbox whenever I need it – it’s a convenient arrangement which suits me nicely; but with baby on the way I have to be a bit more realistic. Mandy and I had a long chat, weighed up the options and realised there weren’t any – I had to be a man about it.
So I hid in the toilet and cried myself to sleep.
The decision was made, I girded my loins (which was fun) and reached for the phone … and it bleeped.
From the producer of one of the five new feature projects I’ve acquired over the last month or so. A chance encounter has brought him face to face with a man who fancies investing in a feature film. The producer mentioned the film we were planning and the guy’s interested – he’d like to invest.
All of it.
The whole budget, one investor, there’s the money – go and make a movie.*
Somewhere around the exact amount of money I need to avoid any unpleasantness.
Did I say holy shit?
What about holy fuck?
Fuck me ragged?
Now, I don’t know about you; but if I saw my life in a movie I wouldn’t believe it. You couldn’t write a scene where two people are discussing the need for x amount of money and then have someone else ring up and offer it to them.
Life isn’t supposed to work like that, it really isn’t.
Luckily, life (or at least my life) doesn’t seem to know that.
Which set off a bit of random paranoia. How come the universe seems to be operating in my favour? How come when I need something it just turns up? It’s almost as if, somehow, the universe is looking out for me. As if the whole of creation is bending to my will, for my benefit.
Or at least the section of it which deals with money and writers.
Maybe I am the centre of the universe and all of you are here purely for my amusement?
It’s an easy thought process to get swept up in though. The human mind is not designed to deal with coincidences. We build things, therefore anything which seems constructed must have been built by someone else.
Which is the central theme of ‘Karma Magnet‘, a man who gets carried away with this idea of the universe working for him.
It’s a behaviour I see all the time in other people, particularly the devoutly religious† and spiritually inclined‡– an inability to recognise a coincidence as a coincidence and an ego big enough to assume the vastness of infinity actually cares whether or not you bump into someone from school in Marbella.
It doesn’t, but it’s a hard thought to shift.
Regardless, one of the five has gone from a possible project to a very probable project and I’ve gone from excited to very excited to being a little scared.
I’ve also found out when they need the script by and how much time I’ve got between now and then.
HOLY FUCKING MONKEY SHIT!
Enjoy your Christmas, I don’t know if I will.