Hello!

I’m going to interrupt my stream of dodgy strategy talk for a quick aside.

I was idly glancing over someone’s shoulder on the bus today – bad habit, but I get bored – when a photo in his copy of Hello! caught my eye.

“Hey, that’s Adele!” 

Cue strange glances.

Word of advice, when you’re reading magazines over someone’s shoulder – don’t shout in their ear. If you do, try turning your head away, chatting to yourself and pretending you’ve got a bluetooth headset in your other ear.

Eventually, he went back to his reading and I could go back to mine.

The article was about Adele Silva, who starred in … HOLY FUCK! THAT’S MY FILM!

By now, most of the bus were looking at me.

And not in  a good way.

But I didn’t care, I was on my feet, pointing at the magazine in open mouthed surprise.

This was the corner of the article which caught my attention:

hello.jpg

That’s right, I wrestled the magazine away from him and ran giggling into the night.

Then had to wait for the next bus because it wasn’t my stop.

Sad, yes; but good publicity.

Getting a mention in a national mag, not jumping off at the wrong stop after tearing said magazine out of someone’s hand.

Or it would be good publicity if people actually read Hello! instead of just looking at the pictures.

I am ashamed of myself.

Sorry.

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Categories: Publicity, Sad Bastard | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on “Hello!

  1. What’s shocking about this, is that a bloke, A BLOKE! was willingly reading Hello magazine of his own free violation, (and had presumably willingly paid for the magazine) – was he gay by any chance? (Silly question, examine the evidence – ‘course he was!) You should be careful about sidling up to strange men on buses. People will talk. Still, very exciting to see your own work unexpectedly get a mention.

    P.S. Give Adele a blocking next time you see her, for not mentioning who it was written by. Tell her you’ve had a lot of interest from LA and they’re asking who your first choice is for Scarlett in the remake of Gone With The Wind. Tell her, if she wants to get mentioned, she too, has to get mentioning.

  2. Blocking? Tsk. A bollocking!
    That’s Hello magazine spreading it’s strange power already.

  3. I was wondering what the hell a blocking was.

    And yes, he was gay. How did you know?

  4. According to that IMDB page your film is apparently a cross between Ratatouille, The Golden Compass and The Shining…. I’m intrigued…

  5. Me too, that sounds much better.

  6. Eleanor

    Groovy! – So will you be framing Hello magazine and hanging it in the office?

  7. Erm … no. Not unless I’m planning on shooting myself in the head shortly afterwards.

  8. crustynomad

    How about hanging yourself in your office with the aid of neo-classical gilt frame with your final words being…

    ‘Hello!’

    Hmmm, I could use that in a dream sequence methinks…

  9. Great, now people are leaving suggestions for suicide.

  10. crustynomad

    Don’t take it personally Phil! ‘Tis but a jest! 🙂

  11. Pingback: The Sun « The Jobbing Scriptwriter

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