Sometimes I think of my career as being like that scene in Desperado where the floor of the bar is littered with corpses. I’m like Antonio Banderas (only ginger, poorer and considerably less attractive – although possibly taller, they’re all short in Hollywood, aren’t they?) and the corpses are the remains of dead projects. You know, films and TV things which people were massively excited about and were definitely going to film the next day …
Every now and then, one of those corpses gasps a long, shuddering breath and sits up – they’re not quite dead! There’s still a bit of life in the old bugger! And … hang on.
Thinking about it, Antonio Banderas killed all those people which in this analogy suggests I was responsible for the unravelling of projects past. And Antonio was desperately searching for a gun to kill the one still breathing fella, wasn’t he? Which suggests I’m trying to shoot down the last project I’ve got in development.
Yeah, that’s a stupid analogy – sorry.
The point is, a project which disappeared firmly up its own arse earlier this year has just lurched back into view. It’s gone from being dead and buried in a forgotten, overgrown grave with no one to mourn it to a lively, throbbing beast, frothing at the mouth and straining willfully against its harness as it prepares to spring into action.
Possibly even next month!
Watch how the eager frothing turns out to be rabies and it gets shot through the head!
It’s never really worth getting excited about things like this, but it’s hard not to. I always allow myself a little glimmer of hope before settling back into a blasé attitude of insouciant disinterest. If it happens, it happens. Wake me when the filming starts.
Actually, no. Wake me when the filming stops and the project’s finished – that’s a much bigger achievement and a dizzying height the movie makers I’ve worked with have yet to reach.
I can but dream.