I’ve got a meeting on Friday to discuss the first draft of the horror script. So in the meantime, with nothing better to do, I’ve finally managed to get back to the re-write I had a meeting about in September.
And it’s great.
Working on the script I mean – not the script itself. Not that it’s not a great script – it might be, it might not – I just don’t want to sound like I’m heaping undeserved praise upon myself.
What’s great about it is working on the script. This script is one of MY scripts. It was my idea, a spec script I wrote back when I didn’t have to answer to anyone. No deadlines, no budgets, no specifications … no money. Just me, my imagination and a blank screen. No one was expecting anything specific, I just put down the words I wanted in the order I felt best and damn the consequences.
For so long now I’ve been working on scripts which are FOR people. They’re never fully my ideas, they’re the result of hours of discussions and negotiations. This one, this is mine.
Actually, not quite. Not anymore. It’s been optioned for a while now, we’ve had meetings, notes have been given, re-writes requested; but still … there’s something different about it. I still feel like this is MY script. If it doesn’t get made, I get it back. I can do whatever the hell I like with it. Assignments, with money involved … you don’t own them. You work on them, you help shape them but ultimately they’re not yours.
This is mine.
And I’m completely tearing it to bits.
There are a few key scenes remaining, but almost everything else is in the bin. It’s like there are little lit milestones in the darkness. I have to get from one familiar place to the next but I can go anywhere I want in-between. I’d forgotten how good it feels to work on something wholly mine.
Fuck it, you know what I mean. I’m not saying working for other people isn’t fun, because it can be; but this is just MORE fun. It’s FUN! Rather than fun. Assuming the definition of fun is lying face down on the bed mumbling about wizards and swords and wondering what the hell happens next.
Come Friday I’m going to have to go back to the horror script, but right now …
I should do this more often.