MAC code

“Thank you for calling Fuckwit Broadband, Mr Barron. How can I help you today?”

“I’d like to get my MAC code please.”

“Certainly, sir. May I ask why you’re thinking of leaving us?”

“I’m not thinking of leaving you. I am leaving you. Can I have my MAC code please?”

“Before I can do that I need to ask you a few questions.”

“I don’t really want to answer any questions. Can I just have my MAC code, please?”

“Has there been a problem with your service?”

“Look, I know you’re just trying to do your job which is pretty bloody awful at the best of times and I’m really, really trying not to shout at you; but I just want my MAC code. I’ve been on hold for three hours and I’ve really just had enough. Please give it to me. It’s my MAC code and I’d like to have it, please. If you’d be so kind.”

“Are you aware we may be lowering our prices at some point in the near future? Would that convince you to stay?”

“MAC code. Please.”

“I’m sorry sir, but I have to enter a reason into the computer before it will generate the MAC code.”

“Fine. Satan talks to me through the TV and he told me I have to leave you and sign up to Sky Broadband or he’s going to make me rape, kill and eat next door’s babies.”

Long pause.

“I’ll just put ‘other’.”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

Categories: Random Witterings | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “MAC code

  1. I had to go through the same process last month. I just said ‘you are shit’, I think they actually had that as one of their options.

  2. Hilarious.

  3. Who were you with before Sky then?

  4. Pipex who I swore I’d never give any more money to after an incident I can no longer remember. I was with someone else but Pipex went and bought them.

    The saga actually continues. They promised to post me the MAC code and then didn’t. When I rang them back a month or so later they read the MAC code to me over the phone. Why couldn’t they just do that in the first place? Something technical to do with requesting the code from someone else.

    So I ring Sky and try to set up some new broadband but after several unsuccessful attempts they finally figure out the MAC code is out of date.

    Back to Pipex and the whole fucking rigmarole again. “Why do you want to leave us? What have we done wrong?” Just give me the fucking code! The right one this time, please! Christ, I’ve got out of marriages easier than this.

  5. Darren

    I feel your pain…

  6. “I’ll put other then…” Tee-hee-hee 🙂

    Yeah, I have friends who have been through hell trying to get their MAC codes … you are one of many. Good luck with sorting it.

  7. I had no problem getting my MAC code.

    But for the next 18 months the fuckers kept chasing me for debts which I had already paid in full.

    Eventually they hired a debt collection agency to get the money out of me which I’d already paid them. Who, upon receipt of the correspondence with the original broadband company, finally managed to get them to stop fucking calling.



  9. Causing emotional distress is what Phills do best.

  10. mark eastwood

    I’m surprised no-one has yet mentioned those other fuckwits at Virgin. I had an engaging and forthright exchange of views with them only the other day. Although it could have been a recorded message, I was too busy filling my own ears with blood to listen.

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