Unimportant stuff

1) Put the link of the person who tagged you on your blog.

Piers

2) Write the rules.

  1. Put the link of the person who tagged you on your blog.
  2. Write the rules.
  3. Mention 6 things or habits of no real importance about you.
  4. Tag 6 persons adding their links directly.
  5. Alert the persons that you tagged them.

3) Mention 6 things or habits of no real importance about you.

  1. There are a large number of products I will never buy because the advertising annoys me. Chief culprits among these are Apple, FCUK, Abercrombie and Fitch – in fact, most ‘high end’ clothing shops – and every male perfume ever and/or yet to be invented (you mean to say, if I had a perfectly sculpted body, the looks of a male model, a team of make up artists, professional lighting, was in black and white AND splashed flavoured water on my neck I’d be irresistible to women? Wow. Obviously the perfume is the key ingredient there, where do I sign up?). Basically I get unreasonably angry by anyone who tries to sell me anything by telling me ‘it’s cool and everyone else is doing it’ without actually telling me what’s so good about their product in the first place. The epitome for me is the iPhone 3G – now with added 3G! Which is a bit like Ford advertising a Fiesta as ‘now with FOUR wheels!’ Oh, you mean it’s finally got something it should have had in the first place? It’s finally achieved one of the basic standards? I get particularly incensed by the current crop of ads which show it doing something wonderful but carry the disclaimer “Steps removed and sequences shortened” in other words – “Doesn’t actually do this”. “Imagine a phone which can browse the Internet!” You mean like all phones have been able to do for years? And since browsing “all of the net” was a chief selling point, it gives me great satisfaction to see everyone releasing iPhone versions of their websites. “Imagine a phone which can take photos!” Yes … imagine if your camera was anywhere near the current industry standards, had a flash, could take video and could actually send the pictures to someone once you’d taken them. You know, like every other phone on the market. The phone itself is a perfectly good, middle of the range smart phone; but the advertising and the cult of Apple (who followed me around telling me my phone wasn’t as good as the iPhone for six months before the damn thing was even released) keep insisting it’s the best phone ever made – presumably because it does slightly less stuff than every other smart phone on the market yet costs more. Honestly, the phrase ‘Sent from my iPhone’ sends me into paroxysms of rage. It is very, very pretty though. Why can’t they just say that on the adverts?
  2. I slip into rants far too easily and get unreasonably annoyed by things when I really shouldn’t. I shout at the TV a lot. I sometimes even shout at the screen in the cinema. And not just during the adverts.
  3. Tom Baker sent me a postcard.
  4. You can punch me or hit me with sticks quite hard and I don’t really notice, but I’m very ticklish and may wet myself with prolonged tickling activity.
  5. I hate it when people try to motivate me – it doesn’t work. I’ll do it when I’m God damn ready, now fuck off and leave me alone.
  6. Tea should be served in a mug and the shape of the mug is very important. Saucers are evil, pointless and obviously the work of Satan. Mugs should have straight sides because they’re easier to carry two in one hand, are more stable on curved sofa arms and lose heat slower than tapered mugs. They shouldn’t have a flared lip because the lip stays cold and annoys me. The handle should accommodate at least two fingers, preferably three, to make it easier to carry. And they shouldn’t be dainty porcelain or bone china because I always worry I’m going to bite through the side. Starbucks’ middle sized mugs are perfect. Costa’s large mugs are fucking awful. And really, really, don’t get me started on those fucking stainless steel teapots and milk jugs which EVERY fucking cafe in the world uses. You know, the ones which don’t actually pour but dribble down the sides and all over the table, leaving a pool of liquid which I then put my elbow in and … ah. See point 2).

4) Tag 6 persons adding their links directly.

No.

5) Alert the persons that you tagged them.

See above.

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Categories: Random Witterings, Rants, Sad Bastard | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “Unimportant stuff

  1. Backs away slowly.

    😛

  2. Bite through the side? You bleedin’ mentalist.

  3. I worry about that, too.

  4. Figures.

  5. Darren

    I sent this comment from my iPhone.

  6. And didn’t you look a twat while you were doing it?

  7. Darren

    Hmmm… yes, probably. But then I look like a twat doing pretty much anything.

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