Monthly Archives: March 2009

Hooray

I’ve finally finished the script I’ve been avoiding working on since September.

Not deliberately avoiding, just getting side tracked with other projects. I really must learn to say no occasionally.

Anyway, it’s done now and what a pain in the arse the last few pages were. Story wise it was fine, but the characters keep swapping bodies which makes it bastard hard to identify them on the page. On screen it’ll be obvious …

Hmm …

On screen I hope it’ll be obvious who’s who. Which you can also read as ‘I hopethe script makes it as far as the screen’ – nothing’s certain in this crazy old world.

So a character who starts out as Bob, ends up in Mabel’s body*. Do you label that as:

BOB/MABEL
BOB ('S MIND IN MABEL'S BODY)
BOB (SPEAKING THROUGH MABEL)
MABEL/BOB
MABEL (WITH BOB'S MIND)
MABEL (WITH BOB INSIDE HER - STOP FUCKING SNIGGERING)

It’s a mine field. Especially if Mabel then ends up in Bob’s body and you have:

BOB/MABEL

and

MABEL/BOB

Doesn’t exactly paint a clear mental image, does it?

In the end I did a mixture of everything and then reinforced it with lots of action which referred to Bob’s feminine hands or Mabel’s hairy back. But then I had to write a new scene where

BOB (IN MABEL'S BODY) 

locked himself (herself) in the toilet while

MABEL (IN BOB'S BODY)

banged on the door shouting:

"Stop playing with my tits."

For an hour.

Then it got really complicated when Bob and Mabel ended up inside the same body. At which point I just killed everyone and called it a day.

Bob and Mabel are fucking dead, it's over.
THE END

So there we are. One script down for the Easter bonanza – two more to go.

Tomorrow holds two meetings in store: one about final notes for ’til Death and the other about … I don’t know. It’s a mystery meeting where, according to the producer, he has to be looking me in the eyes when he tells me what it’s about. HAS TO. There is no other option and apparently I’ll shit a solid gold brick with excitement.

Which will be lovely.

I must remember to take a change of underwear.

* Names changed to protect the pointless.

Categories: Progress, til Death | 9 Comments

I’m so sorry

… I really am. I’ve been neglecting this blog, but most of all I’ve been neglecting you. Not a general, you the reader type you; but you specifically.

You’re my favourite.

And I apologise, but I’ve just been far too busy. Still am really, but the end is in sight.

Well, not the end. More of a resting point when I’ll be able to talk shit for a day or so.

Rest assured though, I have been making a list of all the things I would have blogged about over the past … few … while.

How long has it been?

Oh, it feels longer.

Anyway, I’ve jotted down a list of twelve things I meant to blog about but haven’t.

Three of them I can actually remember what they mean. Sadly, I suspect the other nine are lost for all time. Shame really, they looked jolly exciting if not deeply mysterious.

CREATORS CONFUSED LOST – sounds like it would have been insightful.

THE A TEAM V DAD’S ARMY – would have been a film I’d pay to see.

CYLONS!– looks terribly exciting. Not just CYLONS, but CYLONS! with a bold and underlined exclamation mark. It sends shivers down my spine just looking at that.

BLOG NO SPELLCHECK BLOG WHY? – yes. Really? Gosh.

And it’s my deepest regret to annouce we may possibly never, ever learn what the fuck DAISY DOGNUTS means.

DAISY DOGNUTS? It’s definitely my handwriting but … DAISY DOGNUTS? What the fuck?

Oh well, back to hacking up my imaginary friends with big bastard swords.

Normal service will be resumed shortly.

Categories: Random Witterings | 3 Comments

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