Karam Magnet

Do you long for the days when you got two films for the price of one at the cinema?

Do you yearn for times past when the local fleapit showed a clever little short film before the main feature?

Do you mourn the passing of those little featurettes which raised a smile, provoked a thought or otherwise tugged at your heart strings?

Well mourn no longer for those happy days are upon you once more!!!!!!!!

You! Yes, you sir! Don’t try to hide behind that young lady, I can see you. You too could be re-living the old days with this smashing two for one offer. Be the envy of your friends and admired by women (and/or men) everywhere by buying the movie-tastic treat which is the Karma Magnet/Wishbaby Double Bill DVD!!!!!!!!!!!

wishbaby

Did I just say Double Bill?

You’re darn tooting I did!!!!!!!!!!!

Marvel at the sheer shortness of the short film (wot I wrote and you’ve probably already seen on the Internet) shown on your very own telly!!!!!!!!!!!

And that’s not all.

Buy Karma Magnet and you also get, absolutely free, a personal viewing using your very own eyeballs of the feature-length cinematic treat which is … Wishbaby!!!!!!!! A film I have nothing to do with but was described by Fangoria as ‘a film’ and by Total Film as ‘What? Who are you? How did you get this number?’

That’s right, this amazing offer is available to one and all. For the measly little sum of ‘some money’, you too can own the amazing Karma Magnet/Wishbaby Double Bill DVD!!!!!!!!!!

Recreate those halcyon days of the silver screen in the comfort of your own living room. Once you own your very own Karma Magnet/Wishbaby Double Bill DVD you will instantly be transported back* to those movie-going days of yore WITHOUT ACTUALLY LEAVING YOUR FRONT ROOM!!!!!!!!!

Invite all your friends round and get them to smoke heavily until you’re unable to see your TV!!!!!!!! Leave your back door open so the chavvy fourteen year olds can sneak in and then talk all the way through a movie they’re far too fucking stupid to understand!!!!!! Why not pay Fat Ethel with the gammy eyes and the buck teeth to stand in the corner with a tray around her neck, point a torch in your face during the feature presentation, shout about ice creams and then scream at you as if you’d face raped her baby because she hasn’t got change for a fiver?!!!!!!!!!

All this and more can be yours for the paltry sum of ‘some money’!!!!!!!!!

But act fast, this offer is only available for an unspecified amount of time and may vanish, finish or spontaneously combust at any moment!!!!!!!

If you find after purchasing the Karma Magnet/Wishbaby Double Bill DVD you are in any way dissatisfied with either the performances, storylines, music or DVD shape you can, at NO EXTRA COST, complain all you fucking like because it will be too late and I’ll already have 0.00000000000000007p of YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Karma Magnet/Wishbaby Double Bill DVD – can you afford to miss out? Go buy the DVD now! Why not buy one for Auntie Vera? She’s half deaf, half blind and all stoopid – she’ll think it’s Bambi!!!!!!

Go buy it NOW before people jeer at you and avoid you in the street.

The Karma Magnet/Wishbaby … is anyone else getting bored of this?

Fuck it. Karma Magnet out on DVD. Technically it’s an extra on the Wishbaby DVD but in the interests of me feeling important, I’m pretending Wishbaby is an extra on the Karma Magnet DVD. If only they hadn’t spelt it Karam Magnet on Amazon and Play.com.

Bye.

*Actual Temporal Transportation may not occur

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Categories: Karma Magnet, Progress | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Karam Magnet

  1. Personally, I’m only interested if I get a “no quibble” guarantee where I can try it in my home for 14 days before returning it on the 13th day (watched) in the postage-free envelope which is also included. I’d also like a snog from Martin Kemp and Spandau Ballet tickets for their group reunion this summer. Yes?

  2. Darren

    Ooo… that was one hot sales pitch Mr. Barron. I’m buyin’!

    As long as it isn’t anywhere near as bad as the abortion that was ‘Toybox’ (my brother-in-law directed the ‘best’ bits on that movie so I have every right to complain).

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