Did you know there was a 5.50 in the morning? I didn’t.
Or rather, I knew there used to be a 5.50 am when I was in my twenties. I’m fairly certain I used to pass it occasionally on my way to bed. I’d love to be able to say I passed it on the way to other people’s beds but sadly I didn’t really have that kind of youth. I think it’s something to do with being ginger.
Anyway, seeing as I hadn’t seen 5.50 in the morning since last millennium, I was mostly convinced the world had given it up as a bad idea and opted for just the one 5.50 – the sensible one around tea time.
Imagine my surprise therefore when I found myself standing ankle deep in snow on a train platform at that ungodly hour.
Why? For the love of Dairy Milk Crunchie, why? I hear you ask.
If you’re not asking why, don’t worry – I fucking was.
As it turns out, and for reasons which escape me at the moment, I’d agreed to go into a London school and talk about scriptwriting to a class of fourteen year old girls. Actually, a bit more than talk – I’d agreed to a talk first and then help guide them through the development of a story for a short film.
And so, for the first time since I was about 11 I found myself eating a school dinner.
It was Mexican chicken and surprisingly good. Although, I did have the shits the next day, but that might well have been the pasty I inadvertently bought at East Croydon. I certainly wouldn’t like to cast aspersions on the dinner ladies, whereas the pasty vendor was picking his nose at the time and I’ve no idea where he wiped it.
Anyway, enough of this rusty water chit-chat, the point is I stood up in front of a class full of 14 year old girls, rambled on about writing for a bit and only two of them fell asleep!
That’s something of a record, I feel.
Actually, they were superb. I spent a bit of time going through the components of a story and basic structure, but it was completely unnecessary. They just got it, they fundamentally understood how to tell a story and what made a story interesting.
A bit too interesting at some points. It took considerable effort to dissuade one girl from having all the characters murder each other with chainsaws at the end.
Not really a typical Bollywood ending, for t’was what the project was meant to be.
Which, to my mind makes it a day of four firsts:
- first time I’ve seen 5.50 in the morning this millenium
- first time I’ve done any kind of paid talking to more than one or two people about writing
- first school dinner since I was 11
- and, surely, I must be the world’s first ever ginger, Bollywood consultant.
All in all, a grand day and well worth the lack of sleep. I wonder what else goes on before midday?