There’s something I have to get off my chest.
Most of you will think this is nitpicking, most of you won’t care. Some of you will recognise the legitimacy of this gripe, but will also realise it doesn’t really matter. Some of you might agree. One or two of you might, just might, share my unreasonable outrage.
Those one or two should really get a life.
Seriously, this just doesn’t matter in any way, shape or form.
Except it does. To me.
I’ve been reading scripts again, something I know I should stay away from since it just upsets me; but on this occasion I feel I should speak because …
‘Beat’ doesn’t mean fucking ‘pause’.
It fucking doesn’t.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think you’re writing down musical notation? Are you explaining to the (obviously fuckwitted) actors how to leave a gap between the set up and the punchline? Maybe you’re writing beat because you think it’s shorter than pause? Are you that fucking lazy?
If you want a pause in the dialogue, write the word pause. That’s its fucking job, because, guess fucking what? Pause means pause.
If you don’t want to use the word pause, why not add an ellipsis? … How difficult is that?
Not difficult. Not fucking difficult at all.
Okay, so some of you may argue an ellipsis signifies something is missing from the sentence, not a pause. You can fuck off as well. There is something missing from the sentence at that point – all the fucking words.
Beat, in case you’re interested and for some reason don’t know, means to change subject or emotion. It signifies the following sentence is about something else.
BURT What do you call a man with a spade in his head? (pause) Doug!
Is correct whilst at the same time, only funny to six year olds.
BURT You're fat, you're ugly and you smell. (beat) What's on telly tonight?
Is also correct.
Swap beat for pause and they wouldn’t be … EVEN THOUGH THEY WOULD BOTH STILL MAKE COMPLETE FUCKING SENSE, PROVING THIS WHOLE ARGUMENT (AND THUS THIS POST) TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING POINTLESS.
It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. Do whatever the hell you want, no one cares.
But, luckily, my opinions don’t count.