To loose is to win and he who wins shall loose

Some days I wonder if the world is excluding me from decisions.

I mean, are you lot all getting together without me and changing things behind my back? Like, for example, changing how words are spelt?

Where do these meetings take place? Are they held regionally, or nationally or virtually?

Maybe it’s an iPhone* app?

When, to pick an example at random, did everyone decide to start spelling ‘lose’ with an extra ‘o’?

I always thought ‘loose’ was the opposite of ‘tight’, but apparently it’s now something you do to your keys when you can’t remember where you put them.

Sorry, “apparently its now something you do to your keys when you cant remember where you put them.”

I’d forgotten we’ve done away with apostrophes too. I do frequently get confused by the little buggers, but abandoning them completely seems a bit harsh.

But there you go, apparently there was a meeting, I wasn’t invited and the apostrophe had to go.

‘Yea’ instead of ‘Yeah’  – that seems like an odd decision to me, I quite like having the two words mean different things. I guess putting an ‘h’ on the end is just one keypress too many. After all, in the long run, it’ll save ink and paper and fingers and prevent RSI and save the NHS and all sorts.

I guess I’ve gotten so used to ‘your’ meaning ‘it belongs to you’ and ‘you are’ that I don’t even notice it any more.

Their, they’re, there – far too confusing. Let’s just stick with ‘there’ for all three. Sorted. Next item on the agenda: ‘to’ and ‘too’ – what’s all that about? One ‘o’ to many in my book.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of stickler for correct English usage – fuck, my knowledge of English is pitiful. I can’t spell and I have an unreasonable fear of semicolons and tend to replace them with a dash whenever I think I can get away with it.

Nor am I a strong advocate of stagnating the language – languages evolve. New words are added. Portmanteau words are created. Things do change, no one writes ‘to-day’ anymore and if everyone has decided ‘lose’ is now spelt ‘loose’ then fine, let’s go with that. The point of language is to communicate and as long as people understand what you mean, does it really fucking matter how it’s spelt?

But, then maybe that’s my point? Does anyone else find themselves staring at incomprehensible sentences for minutes at a time before realising there’s a misspelt word in there? §

Some days I see the same word misspelt so often I begin to doubt my own memory. Seriously, I think I look up ‘lose’ in the dictionary once a month – just in case it has changed and no one told me.

Maybe I need a new dickchunairy?

Or just to stop whinging about pointless stuff and get on with some work?


* I’m loving the new advert for FaceTime. A pregnant mum shows her soldier hubby their baby scans over a video call. Aw. Then you get the disclaimer: FaceTime only available with iPhone 4 and wi-fi.
Hang on, you can’t get wi-fi in a hospital.
Or a war zone.
Or maybe I’m hanging out in the wrong hospitals? (And war zones.) Maybe in private hospitals you can get wi-fi?
And maybe that guy in camouflage trousers isn’t actually a soldier, but someone who just likes wearing camouflage trousers and hates furniture and decorating?
Of course, if you had any other phone you could just make a video call over the 3G network. ¤
So does that mean Apple have created an advert showcasing something every other phone in the world except the iPhone can do?
That’s a lie. It upsets me to the point of violence.
Spalling for Begooners.
§ My absolute favourite is the misspelt word in a text message which has also been wrongly predicted by predictive text. I can spend days trying to decipher some of those messages. Even when I put the word into a blank message and scroll through all the possible predictions it doesn’t reveal the meaning.
¤ Assuming that still works. And you can find two steady 3G signals in the world. Has anyone tried it in the last five years or so? Or did you do what I did – try it once before deciding video calling on a mobile (walking around with your arm stretched out in front of you) is a stupid idea?
Categories: Random Witterings, Sad Bastard, Someone Else's Way | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “To loose is to win and he who wins shall loose

  1. Just from a single 95 page script I’m reading now: graden (garden), loose (lose), where (were), its (it’s), there (they’re), your (you’re). How many of these misspellings does one writer need to rack up before I can officially mark them as functionally illiterate?

  2. I *am* a Stickler, but not for correct English usage. Is that how you spell usage? Anyways…

    I find text abreviations indecipherable and oddly infuriating. I delight in using unnecessarily long words in texts.

    • I’m not a fan of text abbreviations either, but for some reason it doesn’t bother me from anyone under 25.

      Anyone over 30 who uses them should be fucking ashamed of themselves – you’ve become that adult who thinks he’s down with the kids.

  3. Whoops, I abbreviated “abbreviations”. How ironic.

    Starting sentences without a capital letter is another common convention that should be stopped.

  4. Ashley Wills

    Agreed on the ‘lose’/’loose’ thing. It’s retarded.

    Those who call people ‘loosers’ and really the true ‘LOSERS’.

  5. Ashley Wills

    Oops, made an error in my above post. I meant to say ‘loosers’ *are* really the true ‘LOSERS’

    Whose a looser now, huh!?

  6. what? i’m typing to fast to ermeber to press two kesy at the same time – or even go back and rearrange/add letters….


    Sorry. Just had to get that out of my system.

  8. Don’t spend too much time worrying about spelling. So ‘yeah’ evolves into ‘yea,’ so some people aren’t able to spell ‘lose.’ I’m sure the world will go on! 🙂

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