Free video projector

I got a new video projector recently. It wasn’t free, I paid for it and it’s very nice, thank you. I haven’t actually been in the house long enough to watch a film on it yet, but it’s there, above the sofa bed and any month now I’ll very probably watch a film on the lovely two metre screen:

That picture is during the day, with the curtains open and before I’d set it up; but you get the idea. If it helps get a sense of scale; the TV is a 40 incher.

I am, however, left with one major problem, namely: what do I do with my old projector?

Well, I’ll tell you, I’m giving it to you. Yes, you there, the one reading this right now.

It’s kind of a competition only there are no entry requirements and precious little rules beyond the ones I’ll make up on a daily basis. The projector in question is one of these:

That’s not a photo of the actual one, obviously – that’s just a photo I found lurking maliciously on the internet. The lens bit collapses when you’re not using it – which is infinitely preferable to collapsing when you are using it.

It’s a CTX Technology EzPro 585. If you click that link, you’ll learn all sorts of details, including the surprising fact it originally cost $2,895 which is nearly two shillings and sixpence in new money. It’s a surprising fact because it was given to me, completely free of charge and apropos of nothing by this man:

And now I’m giving it to whoever wants it.

Honestly, anyone can have it. If you want it, take it. It’s getting on a bit now, but it still works. If you pause it on an exceptionally dark film you might notice a faint orange blur in the centre of the screen; but then again, you might not. People round my house only tended to notice when I paused Batman Begins specifically to show them. Should just learn to keep my fool mouth shut, I suppose. If you’re less stupid than me, you shouldn’t have a problem.

It comes with a neato carrying case, a remote control and the original instruction book. There might be the odd cable in the bag too, I can’t remember.

So let’s say you want this fine piece of expensive, yet antiquated technology – how do you go about getting it?

Well, that’s a tricky question since I’m buggered if I’m posting it to anyone. I think it’s sensible if we say you have to either:

  1. Live in Eastbourne and can come and collect it.
  2. Live in Brighton (or thereabouts) so I can drop it off on my way to beating people up on a Wednesday evening.
  3. Live in London and be prepared for a handover, SPOOKS style in a train station or café somewhere.
  4. Be prepared to travel to any of these places.

And that’s it really. If you live in Scotland and decide to travel to Eastbourne for an ageing projector, you’re a fucking idiot – but I’ll give you a slap up dinner before kicking you out.

I suppose it should go to the first person who wants it; but since I a fickle fucker, I might decide to give it to the person I like the best/will be able to hand it to easier.

If anyone’s interested, leave a comment below. I’ll wait a few days and then make a decision. If no one wants it, which is entirely plausible, then I’ll probably just sling it on Freecycle or whatever it is they’ve changed their name to this week.

But come on! A free video projector (initially) worth £1835.12? Nearly two grands’ worth of giveaways? Name one other blogger who does that!

Actually, don’t. I don’t care.

A free video projector – it’s yours if you want it.

Categories: Opportunity | 19 Comments

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19 thoughts on “Free video projector

  1. Hello,
    I’d gladly take this off your hands. Actually could have done with it a few weeks ago, to stop me paying out to hire a green screen studio, but that’s another story.
    I live in London, so could take it from you through a slightly suspicious handover of large package in public place deal.
    – Richard

  2. Hello,

    I’d really like your projector, here’s why – I recently took over running a monthly short film event in Brighton called MovieBar, for which I need projector to screen the films. At the moment I’m hiring one from a very nice organisation in Brighton who support non-profit events by providing equipment really cheaply, so I do have access to a projector. But if I had my own it would save picking it up and taking it back every month, and the hire cost does add up to quite a bit of money at the end of the year. So your projector would save me a bit of hassle every month and would really help me keep MovieBar running. I work in Brighton so I’m there weekdays, but I’d also be happy to come over to Eastbourne to pick it up.


    Chris Regan

  3. Jonathan Bennett

    Hi Phil

    a) I live in Brighton
    b) I would be happy to collect it
    c) It would improve my quality of life (slightly)
    d) I will reenact a scene from the film of your choice on the streets of Brighton or Eastbourne. Or anywhere else. No special effects.
    f) That’s it.


  4. Jonathan Bennett

    No, wait, Chris Regan sounds much more deserving.

  5. Mandy

    Sooo glad you lovely people are interested in my husbands old tat and I’m really glad someone will be removing it from my hallway asap. Thank you.

  6. Me.

    I would use it for my own personal viewing pleasure. Not to make the lives of the poor, deserving, or dispossessed better in any way whatsoever.

    When people come round my house to see films, I can say: Wow. Isn’t this great? Look at the picture quality on that. I bet you wish you had a fine video projector like this. And it’s mine. Not yours. Mine. Because Phill loves me more than you.

    (This may not be true. But if I get it, I shall tell them that anyway.)

  7. Jonathan Bennett

    The suspense is killing me. And those orphans aren’t going to entertain themselves.

    • Me too, I wish this cunt would make up his mind. Oh wait, it’s me, isn’t it? For once, I HAVE THE POWER!

      Christ, now I sound like Prince Numpty-Face from He-Man.

  8. I think we should have it on the grounds it was supposed to be ours in the first place. The fellow in question was on his way to the production office to give it to us when he bumped into you and, well, you know the chap pictured…, he got confused. I think he might have thought you were us,

    We would also use the projector to give you a private screening of LVJ when it is complete….of course projectors may be obsolete by then and the movie may be distributed on hologram or cyber implant so this statement is not legally bindin

    Being ever so slightly serious we would use it in the audio post studio for ADR in the coming months and to screen for temp dubs..,,,and for watching Scandinavian art films…

    • You think he mistook me for you AND Chris? Actually, that’s not as unbelievable as it sounds.

      • Yeah he turned up at the studio empty handed and when we asked him where it was he said he had given it to Chris. When I pointed out that Chris was standing right next to me and knew nothing about it he looked more confused and asked if that was Chris who was the other guy? To be fair he had only be filming with us for probably three or four years at that point so you can’t blame him for not knowing the director…or maybe you can….

        Took several years before we worked out where it had actually gone. He used to come round and ask to see rushes of the movie, excitedly pointing out that we could watch it on the projector. The first few times we would explain that we didnt have one as he gave it someone else until he would get confused about the whole Chris scenario again.

        Soon the whole debacle passed into myth and legend until few were left who could remember the original events.

        Now it could be time for it to regain it’s rightful place and to right an ancient error of ineptitude,,,,or something like that,

        Plus the thought of watching those speciality videos I bought on holiday in Germany in both surround sound and on a 20 foot screen is making me both nauseous and giddy with excitement at the same time.

        • Chris Taylor

          What he said.

          • That would explain why he kept calling me Chris. Or Steve. Or Andy. Or, oddly I thought, Katrina.

            So let me get this straight, if I give it to you I’m not only putting right what once went wrong (without waking up in a woman’s body in 1956) but I’m also helping my own career?

            And for a cincher, I might be able to borrow certain … educational media?


            See? All it takes is the offer of porn and I’m anybody’s.

  9. Mweetwa

    Lookin for a projector desperately plz let me know will b very thankful n grateful

  10. greg

    Hi….is the projector still available ??
    I work in youth clubs and also
    And bits in Northampton to Hertfordshire..
    But am in London a couple of times per week
    But might be able to email someone to pick up from Brighton….

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