Dear Final Draft,

Fuck you. Just fuck you. Do you know how many times I’ve had to change my printer settings this week?

Do you?

Huh?

No, of course you fucking don’t because you’re not sitting in this tiny pissing room with me watching me change the fucking settings every time I need to swap between a British A4 script and an American Letter one.

Lots.

That’s how fucking many.

I would tell you exactly, but I’ve run out of fucking fingers and counting was never my strong point.

Why can’t I have a menu button which specifies the page size?

Hmm?

Why not?

Why would that be so fucking difficult?

Why do I have to explain to the British producer of this American co-production, over and over a-fucking-gain that he has to change his printer settings before opening the script or the page numbers will be all over the fucking shop and his notes will make no fucking sense whatsoever? Yes, I send him a PDF version in the correct page size, no he doesn’t fucking read that one because he’s a fucking idiot. Don’t interrupt. How ridiculously fucking annoying is it that I have to open four separate windows before I can alter a setting which should be one click on the fucking toolbar?

Eh?

Eh?

Answer me, you useless fucking cunts!

Other than that, I think it’s a really good program, one I enjoy using and has made my working life immeasurably better.

Thanks, love and kisses,

Phill

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Categories: Rants, Someone Else's Way | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “Dear Final Draft,

  1. Brilliant! That’s the most I’ve laughed in ages, thanks.

  2. Just wondering… what if you had two documents, one set in A4 and one in American Letter, and you copied-and-pasted into whichever you needed to send or work on next?

    I can see disastrous complications, but ah, it’s only work.

    • Not sure I follow you. As far as I can work out, Final Draft checks the printer settings at start up and adjusts paper size to match. The only way to switch from A4 to Letter is to close the program, change the printer settings and reopen Final Draft.

      Unless I’m being a twat and have missed something really obvious?

      • H

        I know this is an old comment, but I have Write Brothers Screenwriter and that allows you to just click File/Printer Setup/Paper Size and it changes the entire script. Can instantly change the page count of the open script by two or three pages.
        Probably more work in buying and learning how to use a different programe from scratch just for one thing but if you regularly deal with US and UK producers it might be worth it.

        • Appreciate the thought, but I’ve recently switched to Fade In – it works pretty much identically to Final Draft (in the ways I need it to), can export to .fdx, has a mobile phone app for writing on the go AND you can specify the paper size easily.

          And it’s cheap.

          • H

            Downloaded the demo and tried it out. MMS seems far better at automatic formatting. Pressing enter on a new line brings up INT/EXT for example, and then automatically brings up DAY/NIGHT after typing the location. With Fade In you have to press Ctrl+1 to bring up INT/EXT, which just isn’t as quick or intuitive, and I couldn’t find any way to get DAY/NIGHT other than just typing it.
            Maybe it’s just because I’m used to MMS.

            • The full version of Fade In does both automatically – or rather you type I for INT. or E for EXT. and D or N for DAY or NIGHT.

              I found the demo a teeny bit lacking, but the full version didn’t have any of those kinks and gets updated very regularly. To the point, in fact, where at the moment, every time I see something I think could be better it’s changed within the month.

              My issue with MMS (which was years ago and might well be different now) was I couldn’t find a way to get a single page view – it was always that long, single, rolling sheet of paper which I hate. I think Celtx was the same. I like to be able to see exactly what each page will look like.

  3. Pingback: 2011 « The Jobbing Scriptwriter

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