Conversations to quit over #1

No, no, no, you’re just not getting this. They’re four friends.

Okay.

They’ve grown up together.

Got it.

And they all went to medical school together.

Right.

Now they’re all doctors.

All of them?

Yup. So they all use the same technical jargon.

And the same childhood slang?

Spot on. They use a shorthand only they can understand.

So … I guess they’re all from different ethnic backgrounds and–

No, no. They’re doctors, They’re all white middle-class men.

Pretty sure not all doctors are white. Or men.

These ones are. I’ve already cast them.

Ah. Who’ve you cast?

I’m not telling you, they haven’t confirmed yet.

I see. So you haven’t cast them.

I have! They just haven’t agreed yet. They all said they will do it, but each one wants to be the hero, so they’ve all got to be cool and wry and clever and … well, just awesome. Alpha males.

I’m not sure you can have four Alpha Males in one group.

Just write it and we’ll divide up the roles afterwards. Make them all the kind of guy you’d want to hang out with. Harrison Ford. Make them all like Harrison Ford.

All of them. Four Harrison Fords in one room.

Yes! Just do that!

Can I make one angry Harrison Ford and one–

No, these guys don’t get angry. They’re doctors! They’re intelligent, educated men who always know what … um … word things to say and never stop being …

Harrison Ford?

Yes! I need the first draft in five days.

FIVE DAYS AND ONE TERRIBLE DRAFT LATER:

This is a terrible script – all these characters sound the same. I should be able to cover up the character names and–