Last Monday my phone suddenly, and unusually, emitted a strange sound. It was a sort of warbling, chirping noise I hadn’t heard before.

And it didn’t stop. It just kept on warbling and chirping.

Quick as a flash, I ambled out into the garden and found a stick to poke it with (just in case it was dangerous) and upon my return I was delighted to discover an email from the lovely Danny Stack informing me he’d tried to ring and inquiring how I was.

As it happens, I was perplexed.


Apparently my phone can receive phone calls, a capability I was hitherto unaware of. Truly we live in an age of wonders where mere phones can receive phone calls. I’m half convinced it can make calls too … but further investigation is required before I commit myself to such outrageous claims.

Monday was a good day. It was the day we finally had our hall carpet fitted after months of sanding, scraping, painting and varnishing. Here it is:

2015-04-20 12.41.16

I think it looks quite nice.

On a day which included the culmination of months of hard work, a phone call from Danny was absolutely the highlight.

If you don’t know Danny, you should. His blog, here, is one of the very, very, few of the UK-advice-blogs which is worth reading. Danny’s the real deal, a working writer who shares vaulable insights. If you don’t read his blog, then you should at least listen to his and Tim Clague’s podcast which is equally as informative.


Danny and I keep in touch via the odd email or social media message. Occasionally, once in a blue moon, we’ve meet face to face … but that’s kind of it. So to get a phone call out of the blue with no motive attached is … well, it’s special.

It’s lovely, in fact.

And it got me thinking.


Maybe there are other people out there who fancy a natter? Maybe you’re a novice writer who’d like to chat to someone a teeny bit further down the path? Maybe you’re an incredibly experienced writer who’s (inexplicably) got no writing chums to talk to? Maybe you’re an avid movie watcher who’d like to ring up and know just how the fuck utter dross like Strippers vs Werewolves got made? Maybe you just want to complain to someone about your boy/girlfriend’s utter inability to grasp simple concepts like special relativity?

Maybe. I don’t know.


I’m usually procrastinating so if you fancy a little chat, email me (the address is on the right – take this as a simple intelligence test, if you can’t find it you probably can’t operate a phone anyway), I’ll send you my phone number and you can ring up and have a chat.

I don’t know if anyone wants to do such an outlandish thing as actual voice-to-voice contact with another human being … but if you do … great. If there’s more than one of you per week (which seems unlikely) then we’ll form some kind of queuing system.


Or line up in height order or something.

If you’re in one of those dangerous foreign places then maybe we can Skype or something. So long as you don’t expect video because that involves me putting pants on and that’s never going to happen.

Share this post with people if you like. Or don’t. It’s up to you. I’m just curious to see what happens.



Categories: #PhonePhill, Things I've Learnt Recently, Writing and life | Tags: , , | 24 Comments

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24 thoughts on “#PhonePhill

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