Still going! Next week’s conversation has already happened too – I’m a week in hand!
Frankly, this is quite surprising … but lovely.
Conversation #9 is writer/director/raconteur/blogger/kitten-lover James Moran. He used to be known in these parts as TV’s James Moran but nowadays he’s got his fingers in every pie imaginable and has long-outgrown the confining title.
As is now customary, he was lovely.
One day, someone on the other end of the phone won’t be lovely. On that day I will break with tradition and refuse to name them as such.
But today is not that day.
Full disclosure: I already know James, but haven’t spoken to him for a long time. Ages, in fact. Maybe even longer.
We do know each other though, so we do have each other’s phone numbers. With most #PhonePhillees I email them my phone number so they can call me – this isn’t because I’m cheap and don’t want to use my free minutes (even though I am and I don’t) but because I don’t want to go round harvesting complete strangers’ phone numbers – if they have mine, they can choose not to ring me on the day or withhold their number and keep their anonymity.
But because I already have James’ number (which I will sell for the right price. Or even the wrong one) I rang him.
Or at least, I tried to.
First time it went to his voicemail, so I hung up and immediately tweeted him to accuse him of leading me on.
He assured me he was there, ready and waiting. Possibly moist with anticipation … I mean, he didn’t say he was, but he probably was.
So I rang him again and got the same voicemail. Only … what was that surname? The voice (which didn’t sound like his voice at all) definitely said it was James someone … but it was a bit muffled and didn’t sound like Moran.
Closer examination revealed his contact had two mobile numbers. Only one of which was his. The one he text me from. The only mobile number he has. The one I hadn’t just called. Twice.
So apologies if you’re called James something and are wondering why I called you twice on Friday without leaving a message, but the truth of the matter is I hung up because you’re not James Moran.
Hey, few are.
James Moran, luckily, is.
Chat was wide and varied. We started off with a discussion about haircuts – James had just had his cut at a very reasonable price. My barber is slightly more expensive than James’, but worth sticking with because (for some reason I don’t quite understand) he’s convinced I wrote Iron Man 3.
I’ve never bothered to correct this mis-assumption because … fuck it. I’ll take that credit.
After that (and a few pleasantries) we moved on to directing.
James does it.
James has also taught himself editing and grading and possibly even flower arranging. He seems like the kind of chap who’s determined to learn it all.
Normally I’m wary of writer/directors* feeling that, although there are many people who are awesome at both, they are a tiny percentage compared to the people who aren’t.
Generally speaking^ someone who lists themselves as more than one creative contributor tends to be someone who’s failing at more than one thing. As if they have a limited pool of talent and would probably be really good at one thing or the other … but when that talent is divided between writing, directing, producing, catering, dress making … it just doesn’t work.
James, happily, belongs to the people who can. He’s directed a few shorts:
and this FrightFest intro/ident thingy:
He’s good. At all of it.
He’s working towards directing his first feature … that will be a day worth waiting for.
James thinks every writer should direct their own thing. He says it’s massively illuminating and helps your writing immensely.
Since I haven’t done it, I can only assume he’s right. I do occasionally think about directing a little web series … but then I don’t bother, I’m too busy.
Maybe one day … and then I too can be terrible at two things.
Conversation then drifted, quite naturally, onto Matt Houston.
Well, not specifically Matt Houston, but those kind of action adventure shows in general. James and I loved them growing up and lament the fact no one really makes them any more.
I suppose The Flash is probably the nearest thing. Which I love and can’t wait for the next season.
But where are all the Saturday adventure shows? Where are The Fall Guys and The A-teams? Who’s the spiritual successor to Matt Houston, Magnum, The Dukes of Hazzard, Tales of the Gold Monkey, Automan?
Why does no one make the kind of things the ten year old me loved?
Or maybe they do and I just don’t watch them because I’m not ten? Maybe all those shows of my youth were terrible to anyone who was an adult and I’m missing out on the modern day equivalent because I am now (nominally) an adult and therefore dismiss them as terrible?
Maybe. I don’t know.
For those of you interested in that period, you could do a lot worse than watching this interview with Glen A. Larson.
Glen A. Larson, for those of you young enough not to remember his name on the end of every other US TV show in the 80s was the driving force behind … well, every other US TV show in the 80s. Stephen J. Cannell created all the others.
And Donald P. Bellisario of course. He did the third half.
Why did everyone in the 80s have a middle initial? If I use my middle initial, will I be able to create a raft of amazing action adventure shows?
Might be worth a try.
The big question, of course, is which of those shows would you most like to remake as a movie?
James went for Knight Rider – which is an excellent choice. Four times someone has tried to remake it and each time they’ve fucked it up because … well, watch those Glen A. Larson interviews to find out. He knows, because he was dead clever.
Me? I’d go for either The Fall Guy (which is supposed to be happening with The Rock as Colt Seavers! I really, really want to see that movie!@) or Tales of the Gold Monkey.
And that was #PhonePhill #9.
#10 is already done and awaiting a write up … so who’s next?
I would love to talk to you no matter who you are or what you do. Industry connected or not. Aspiring something or professional something completely different.
Anyone, I don’t care. Email me and we’ll work something out.
*I wrote a post about this once, referring to them scathingly throughout as hyphenates … until someone pointed out in the comments I always used a / and not a –
^Generally, not always and not YOU. You, of course, are amazing at both … that’s why either no one will pay you to do it or why all your films (which you are in complete control of since you also produced them yourself) got a whopping 1 star rating on IMDb#.
#IMDb reviews for terrible low budget movies always follow the same pattern. The first five reviews will be 10 stars … because that’s someone’s family/friends/alternate personality posting them.
Then the film gets released, real people actually get to see it and it tanks completely.
How do I know? Because I’ve tracked many of the terrible movies I’ve written.
@Just use the theme tune. Please. The theme tunes are part of what made those shows so awesome and so memorable. I loved The A-Team movie (why didn’t everyone else?) but it really, really needed to rip into the theme tune after the voice over before the end credits. Not using the theme there was just silly. I know they did use it earlier … but come on! I wanted to leave the auditorium humming the theme.
Actually, I was anyway.