I’m at a bit of a loose end today. It’s not that I have nothing to do, it’s just I have nothing to do right now.
I’m working on lot of different projects, both film and TV stuff, and they’re all at different stages of development: some are one page synopses, some 4-5 page outlines, some 10 page treatments and a couple are already scripted. It’s a conveyer belt process whereby I write one stage, get notes, then move onto the next. Because there’s always a gap between finishing one stage and getting the notes, I can work on multiple projects at the same time without any problem.
Right now, I’ve completed the current stage for each project and can’t move forward without notes from the producers/directors. The problem being, they’ve all buggered off to Cannes.
Which leaves me kicking my heels wondering what to do with myself. I could, theoretically, start a *gasp* spec project … but since I’ve got a meeting tomorrow about a new film project, starting my own seems like a waste of time. Why write something you then have to sell when you already have people who want you to write things for them?
I could get a head start on the next stage of each project, but until I get the notes I could be running in completely the wrong direction. I’m not that bored.
There is a slight worry on the horizon. I have this vague fear that everyone’s going to come back from Cannes all fired up and determined to forge ahead … all of them. At the same time.
That would be completely impossible.
Well, I say impossible; more like very difficult, to be honest.
A position I don’t want to be in, at the very least.
Still, that’s all in the future. Today, I have nothing much to do.
The Jobbing Scriptwriter 
Have you got a copy of GTA4 yet?
That ought to solve your problem.
Go on. Have a holiday.
That’s one of them hi-tech video games, isn’t it?
I want to waste an afternoon – not the next three months.
Phill Barron’s Guide To Writing a Short Film…
Now I’m being selfish.
Easy:
1) Write a feature film.
2) Cut out all the swearing.
3) Hey presto! – short film.
When I’m bored I usually hit YouTube, especially the comedy channels, sketches and stand-up routines of my favourite ‘artists’, Barker, Cook and Fry & Laurie are all there.
Actually even when I’m busy I tend to be there, which is why I usually don’t hit number 1 on your short short film guide. Doh.
And constantly doing number 1 keeps me away from YouTube.
Oooh, Mixed UP looks great!! 🙂
I hope so, but you never know.
I’m thinking of that scene where Kevin’s (Harry Enfield ‘that is so unfair’), parents are saying : “We were such a happy family, then one day, something terrible happened. He turned round and we found that Kevin, horror of horrors, had turned into – a teenager!” when I read:
“I’m working on a lot of different projects, both film and TV stuff, and they’re all at different stages of development, some are one page synopses, some 4-5 page outlines, some 10 page treatments and a couple are already scripted . . . I can work on multiple projects at the same time without any problem”.
But instead of Kevin turning round it’s Phil and the parents are saying: “Horror of horrors, he’s turned into – a professional!” Hee hee 🙂
That Katia-Winter-Maya has nice er . . . y’know a nice pair of . . . oh what’s the word I’m looking for? . . . Eyes – Yes that’s it she has nice eyes, don’t you think?
My parents would probably tell you I was Kevin the Teenager, only more aggressive.
Katia is lovely; but then all the cast are. Katia Winter, Adele Silva, Zara Dawson, Anna Brecon, Abi Titmuss, Faye Tozer, Lisa McCallister – we’ve been very lucky.
Well, not lucky – it’s all down to my sheer, raw, pumping talent as a writer.
Obviously.
Obviously.
I thought so.
Nothing to do with the producer’s silver tongue, easy going nature and extensive list of celebrity friends – that’s just by the by.
It was all me, I take all the credit.
Unless the film’s a pile of shit.
What’s Faye like? She’s always been very nice and willing to do anything in my dreams.
No idea, never met her. Not even in dreams.
“What’s Faye like? She’s always been very nice and willing to do anything in my deams.”
EH? WHAT!?! You mean to tell me she’s been in your dreams as well?
– Well! The two-timing bitch!
Now, now boys – don’t fight. I’m sure Faye reads this blog and will be along any minute to choose between you.
Any minute now.
Any minute.
Sorry boys, she obviously doesn’t read this blog – you’ll have to sort it out yourselves.
I’m a lover not a fighter but, Danny, after loving me she said she couldn’t love another. Yes, she said it, you keep dreaming. Or stop dreaming. Whatever.
That’s it! When I go to sleep tonight . . . excuse me a mo’
– perchance to dream . . .
– Right I’m back – I’m throwing her dream clothes out of my dream window onto the dream pavement below – see how she likes THAT!
Well, if you’ve chucked her out, then I’m going to be consoling her tonight.
In my dreams.
It’s taken you 10 days to think of that response?
My dreams are very popular.
There’s a queue.